APARTMENT HUNTING IN NYC:

Stuck my ass out and was met with a hot rod

Tidbit I learned recently: Zillow owns StreetEasy, but NYC listings hit StreetEasy first, then get syndicated out to the other realty websites. Requesting a tour through the secondhand sites sends the brokers and landlords your information in a data mumble-jumble, making it hard for them to read and sort through. Or at least, this according to Suzanne, who showed me through Apt. 13 on 11th St this last week. 

Apartment 13 is a two bedroom in the Lower East side running for 2800. Think, college dorm suite where the kitchen is a two-burner stove and a mini fridge. It took about thirty seconds to realize it had likely been a one bedroom lazily converted into two. There was a dining “nook,” just over three feet wide wedged between the bathroom and the first bedroom. Without it it would have been a living space, with the actual bedroom well-tucked behind the kitchen and bathroom. It was the first place I actually got my feet into. An open house that I was, conservatively, thirty minutes early to. 

Mel and I’ve sent viewing requests to about forty listings. Of which, we’ve gotten in direct contact with about thirteen of them. I’ve found the best line of bait is tacking on “700+ credit scores, guarantor, and immediate move-in,” to the viewing request, the responses have been much more immediate. Every bank statement, 1040, ID photocopy is filed into a folder on Google Drive, and attached as a link to a pre-drafted email. 

If you had to guess what you’d put towards a broker, you’d be wrong. And if you guessed twice as high, you’d be wrong yet again. The fees are rocketed through the roof. Fifteen percent of annual rent, which for our budget rounds out to just about 5k. A discounted rate, and those are a broker’s words not mine, is equal to one month of rent. To be even remotely prepared would be to have four months of rent in the bank. The only apartments without fees are those listed by the landlords themselves, which are few on StreetEasy, but easier to find on Craigslist. The broker’s themselves are a diverse bunch, part realtor bro part random person you could pull off the street.

Onwards, week one.